To Loathe The Reflection
by Fate VII
Summary: Ryou gets a phone call that sends him into la-la land...Yami Bakura licks knives...reflective surfaces break...PG-13 for blood and deranged logic. If you love Ryou Bakura...or his blood...better read!


Fate: So. My first one-shot. Hell, my first successful fic. And the most popular. Don't know why people read this. Oh, and for the record, YES, I HAVE EDITED IT. There were some minor things that bugged me. Such as the ending. I cleaned it up a bit. Nothing major has changed. If anything, there's MORE for you to read. If, however, you do want the original back (and I haven't a clue why you would), email me and we'll talk. Oh, and everyone who wanted a next chapter, there IS a sequel, and it's called "Shatter Me". Read it. Review it. Incite me to make another one. I don't know.

Disclaimer: Bakura Ryou, Yami Bakura, Yugi Mutou, Yami Yugi, etc. are not mine, as they belong to the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh and probably some overgrown corporation somewhere on this little rock in the middle of the galaxy. 

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This is me. 

Repressed little me.

Looking out the window at nothing in particular as I hold a cloth to my bleeding face.

I don't mean to make him angry. It happens. Everything happens.

Life happens.

He doesn't understand life. He's been dead for too long.

I pity him and hate him simultaneously.

He hates me. Hurts me. Leaves me broken. 

Staring at my reflection which stares at me and I stare into it and it stares into me...

Ignoring the faint tracery of my yami calmly licking the blood off of the knife he sliced my face with.

Wishing, perhaps, that it were my wrists he went after...

But barely connected to this world, unlike usual.

I barely feel the pain.

I am disjointed.

Is it not enough that my own other half, my other part of my soul, despises me to the depths of my existence? That he never speaks, never communicates, lives in his own little world and won't let me in?

Is it not enough that he wishes the same life for me?

Did those I consider my saviors have to do the same?

Someone is laughing.

I wonder if it's him.

The phone rang an hour ago.

*

"Hello, is this...?" Why not say my name? Am I so poisonous to the tongue?

"Hello, Yugi." I defy your game...I recognized you.

You continue, unheeding. "I...this will sound a little silly to you, but I'm sure you're the best person to talk to, what with your...experience?"

Coldness seeps through me. _Experience?_ "How can I help you, Yugi?"

"I...Yami and I...we...well, we had this stupid little argument and now we're not speaking...and can you help me think of how to apologize? I don't want to offend him..."

I nearly dropped the phone. _So you came to me, did you, thinking I could help you worm out of your troubles merely because I had a bothersome--oh, if that were the only problem with him!--yami. You and your yami on excellent terms and you go and ask me how to solve an argument between you two? You remind me of..._

_...him._

_His tool, his host, his precious yadonushi, nothing more than an object of pity and a mindless slave. Collar me to your throne, king's brat, because I have nothing left with which to resist you..._

I mouthed the right words to you. You hung up, satisfied. You didn't know that I dropped the phone and stared at the shattered remains for hours until my yami felt so annoyed by this that he decided to jump out of the Ring and slice up my face to see if I would snap out of it...

You didn't see the confusion and anger on his face when I didn't respond. You've never seen the expression on your other's face. You wouldn't know.

You'll never know, and I hate you for it too.

You never felt the rage pressing up against my pale blank mask. You never understood that every time you came to me with a problem like this you only made the rage burn brighter...

Feeding it with the accelerant of envy and wistfulness...

I wish my yami respected me...would befriend me...would protect me...wouldn't do anything to hurt me...would be everything yours is and he's not...

I wish that you would wake up in an alleyway with blood spattered all over you with no idea how it got there, but the coppery taste of it in your mouth and no injuries on you at all except for that fading bruise he gave you eight days ago...

I wish your yami would control you...would snatch everything that makes you who you are away and stuff you into your soul room and ruthlessly acheive his goals with no concern for you....

I wish these warped dreams for you and know they will never happen...

I wish blinding repressed hatred on you in the embodiment of pure darkness, of albino-red eyes and skin like a creature that's not seen light in years.

And I wish your wonderful life to overlap mine in some strange way, so that my yami will magically be my friend when I wake up tomorrow, and take care of me like the brother I never had, just like yours...

I miss Amane.

You have no one to miss.

No one was stolen from you.

You were given everything.

I want everything you have...everything you ever wanted...everything you took for granted...I want...

I stared with growing fury rattling me from top to toe at the hateful reflection with my pensive yami licking the knife clean in the background...

I would do anything to wipe that reflection from this earth.

Anything at all.

I threw my hands into the glass with a vengeance, feeling the shards score my hands and wrists...carving marks into me to my elbows...kissing me with pain...

I stare at the shattered marks, still seeing a fragmented face swirling with torment and my yami dropping the knife and storming over.

"That was fucking stupid!" He pulled one of my wrists to his lips and began licking away the blood, as if I were only one of his weapons...

Only a tool...

The reflection won't go away...

"Make it stop," I whispered, almost delirious. "The reflection..."

My yami felt me collapse and dropped me to the floor. "What about it?"

"The reflection...make it go away...yami..."

I felt him kneel next to me. Felt his eyes on me. "I am your reflection," he breathed, his voice hissing in my ear. "Do you want me to die so much?"

"Maybe..."

I heard him walk away, back to his knife, leaving me bloody and bruised in the window as the reflections winked and leered around me...telling me I would never be free of them...

I closed my eyes on the glittering shards, still seeing my face outlined in rage on a background of envy on the inside of my eyelids.

You never had a yami like that...

You never hated your reflection...

I wish you would...

I wish...

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Fluffy: So...THERE IS A SEQUEL. It's called 'Shatter Me'. Bakura's POV. You'll like it, I promise. Please review!


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